Some women can be very, very bossy. Sometimes I wonder if some of them are born that way
A man married a widow with three young daughters. He moved into their home. One morning he let the dogs into the kitchen. The cute little 7 year old in her pink pyjamas promptly pointed her finger at him, wagged it up and down and in THAT tone of voice said: “Uncle John, in this house, we don’t let the dogs in. Don’t let me catch you doing it again.” Men do not like it if anybody points fingers at them, not even cute little 7 year olds in pink pyjamas.
Never ask “Why”
Another fatal mistake women make when communicating with men is to ask “why.” To a man “why” translates to: “You don’t know what you are doing, you incompetent stupid fool.” All men, without exception agree on this one.
A husband and his wife travel in the car. She innocently asks him: “Lovey, why are you driving this route?” What he hears is: “Listen you stupid dumb fool, you don’t know where you are going.” Believe me when I tell this story, all the men burst out laughing and then agree that is exactly what they hear.
If his buddy had asked the same question he would have answered: “Because I heard on the radio there are road works on the usual road.” But because the “why” came from his wife or girlfriend, he regards it as a vote of no confidence. He is her hero at all times and he is in control of the situation. There should be no reason for her to doubt him. The same applies to “Why don’t you tell your boss….” “Why don’t you use the star screwdriver…” DELETE THE WORD WHY.
I asked the men what would be an acceptable rephrase of “why” and the following suggestions came up: “This is interesting. How come…” or “I don’t understand how …” or “You have probably thought about this, but maybe it’s a good idea to …” Do not say: “Can you explain to me…” because that sounds like his mother or teacher. If the woman approaches the issue in one of these alternative ways and he just stares at her, it means he heard her and he thinks her suggestion is a bloody good idea. Does she really expect him to verbalise that it’s a good idea? For Pete’s sake, he is a man. Then he goes off and he does it the way she suggested. Then she should not tell him: “I told you so.” She should just tell him how great he is and that he is her hero. And mean it. He knows.
The typical vote of no confidence
Speaking about cars. This is a potentially disastrous area. Women are prone to tell a man how he should drive! A man is a strong capable warrior in charge of a heavy dangerous, complicated, expensive machine and he has her life in his trust.
And then she tells him what to do? The woman should not doubt his ability to handle this machine. She should rather sit back, relax and look out of the window if looking ahead makes her nervous. If he gets lost, so what. Don’t say anything. He knows.
What is more important? Her relationship with this man or the first 15 minutes of a movie that she may be missing? Men usually only start driving recklessly when women complain about their driving. It’s a knee-jerk reaction. Maybe she can pre-empt the situation with a comment like: “I get nervous in a car, but I know you will take it gently and look after me.” Anyway guys, you are supposed to protect her, so man-up and make her feel safe, rather than driving like a jerk to scare her. The pay-off of feeling like a hero by keeping her safe, is much greater than feeling like an ass who tried to show-off. (Tip to the men: Driving recklessly may impress other males, but it only scares a woman and if you scare her, she sure as hell is not going to sleep with you! Get it?)
Men are exceptionally sensitive to criticism and often experience even seemingly innocent comments as a vote of no confidence. And yes, it has to do with their egos. I have no problem with men’s egos. They need egos, they are warriors. They defend us. Without egos they are not men. If a woman can’t deal with a man’s ego, she should date a woman. I do also agree that some egos are vastly inflated, but we will discuss that later.