If it is important to her
Women don’t expect men to understand all their feelings, but they do expect men to respect these feelings. I repeat, women are emotional creatures. So, if it is important to her, it should be important to the man, even if it is not logical. EVEN IF IT IS ILLOGICAL
A young couple have a baby. They are both exhausted. Saturday afternoons they play with the baby. He suggests that one of them takes a nap while the other plays with the baby and then they swap. This way they can both get some rest and the baby is not unattended. She said no, she wants both of them to play with the baby, because she misses him and wants to spend time with him.
Case Study
A young couple have a baby. They are both exhausted. Saturday afternoons they play with the baby. He suggests that one of them takes a nap while the other plays with the baby and then they swap. This way they can both get some rest and the baby is not unattended. She said no, she wants both of them to play with the baby, because she misses him and wants to spend time with him.
In this case he was being pragmatic, she was being emotional. There is no right or wrong. It is a male-female thing.
Case Study
A woman was involved in a legal dispute with a man. It was settled, but the whole affair left her upset and feeling vulnerable. Later she found out that her dentist husband had taken on this man and his wife as his patients. She felt her husband was disloyal regarding her feelings about this couple.
He had a pragmatic approach and said business was business and the legal dispute had been resolved years ago, so she should “get over it.” He was not taking her feelings into consideration, and she felt betrayed.
Case Study
A young couple moved into their first home. In the back yard there was a jasmine creeper that had overgrown the patio, obscuring the light from the kitchen window. One of the reasons why she loved the new house was because of the jasmine, but she agreed it was out of hand and they would welcome sunlight in the kitchen. One Saturday afternoon they were both pruning the jasmine.
She was happily snipping away twig by twig, until she noticed he had cut off two of the three main roots at ground level. The brand new marriage of six months almost ended in a divorce right there. His reasoning was it would take ages to prune the plant and if he cut it at the root, it would grow again. He knew it could take years to grow, but it was their first house and they planned to live there for years.
Her reasoning was if he could not respect her feelings about the plant and trying to preserve it, how would he respect her feelings about more important issues in the marriage? Her attachment to the plant was not logical, but it was important to her.
Metaphorically men can sometimes just walk all over women’s flower gardens with their big feet and not understand why her feelings are hurt. Gently guys, tred gently.
A final word on marriage. I know a woman who was married to her husband for almost 40 years. He was a keen yachtsman. Every weekend they spent at a local resort, sailing his yacht. They retired to a seaside town where he was a member of the local yacht club. Many vacations they spent sailing the seven seas. Literally. They chartered yachts in the Greek isles, the Caribbean, etc.
Occasionally they went on safaris with the 4×4. After his demise I went to visit her. She was planning a 4×4 holiday. “Why don’t you go sailing?” I asked. “I don’t like sailing much,” she answered. “You have sailed most of your life with your husband. How can you say you don’t really like sailing?” Her comment left me flabbergasted, but her answer was even more incredible: “He loved sailing,” she said misty eyed. “It made him happy.” Now THAT I call love.
