Author’s note

Whenever I testify as an expert witness psychologist in court, I always make a point of declaring: I am not here to condemn or condone the behaviour, but to explain the behaviour.

The same principle applies to this book. I am not saying what men do is fair from a woman’s point of view. I am telling it as it is, as the men have related it to me.

Men and women think differently. Not only do men think differently about relationships than women, they think differently than women think men think. Think about that.

I am also not writing this book to teach women how to catch men. If a woman tries to catch a man, she has already lost him. If women want to adapt their behaviour and get in touch with their own femininity, which may just happen to appeal to the heroes out there, then so be it. If women prefer to be pugnacious and hell-bent on cutting men down to size, it is their choice. Men don’t find it very appealing.

If men read this book and feel the need to up their game and man-up: good, because the human race needs heroes.

Heroes

I have walked with heroes and hunted villains. No  one needs to remind me of how bad men can be. Perhaps my proficiency in profiling the very worst of men many years ago, also cultivated my ability to recognise good men – the heroes. This book is inspired by the everyday, unsung heroes who have crossed my path.

Men are born with the innate instinct to provide and protect. It is what makes them men, it defines their “raison d’etre” on earth. Intrinsically they know, if they align their existence with this dual  purpose,  then they are good men, heroes. What disturbs the hero’s mental equilibrium most is being the anti-hero. They detest it and they will try to avoid it at all costs.

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Outline of chapters below: