Maintenance for children
Some women are ignorant of the fact that both parents have a financial responsibility towards the children and they become highly indignant when the court expects them to make a financial contribution. It is not just the father’s baby, when it suits the mother, so to speak.
Some women are quite aware of the fact that they are also expected to pay maintenance for their children and therefore they fight nail and tooth to keep the children with them, so they can live off the maintenance the husbands are paying for the children and they can avoid paying for the children.
These women are usually very reluctant to provide cash slips or receipts for the children’s expenses, because they use the money for their own benefit. Many women buy toilet paper, household detergents, her expensive shampoo, perfume and make-up on the ex-husband’s pharmacy account, which is supposed to be allocated to the children’s medicinal requirements.
“Because he can afford it, I am entitled to it,” they justify their actions! One woman was quite willing to give her children up to the father, provided he claimed no maintenance from her and continued her monthly allowance.
One woman and her children moved in with husband no 2, who was quite affluent. Husband no 1 paid maintenance for the children, which she deposited in a separate banking account. Basically husband no 2 covered the children’s live-in expenses, without ever referring to the maintenance.
One day when husband no 2 needed a cash amount for something, the wife offered him the accumulated maintenance. He was indignant. She could not understand why. I explained: “You should have offered him or paid the money over to him from the beginning to cover the children’s costs. He was too much of a hero to ask you for it and silently provided for another man’s children. He is a good provider.
He will do this. Now you want to offer him your first husband’s money, to help him out. Of course he will be offended. Firstly because you kept the money, secondly because you are trying to help him financially which is an insult to him and thirdly the first husband is a nemesis to him.”
The husband explained if she had offered him the maintenance to cover the children’s living expenses from the beginning, he would have appreciated the respect of the gesture, but he would have refused and suggested that she saved the money towards the children’s further education, or pay it to them when they reach 21. By not offering, she denied him the opportunity to be the magnanimous hero. Her offer came too late and too much silent resentment had accumulated, just like the interest on the money.