Heroes in Love – Be adorable

Be adorable

How can a woman expect a man to adore her, if she is not adorable? The psychologist Carl Jung formulated the concept of archetypes. In any culture or country if we speak about the queen, witch, prince, magician, shape-shifter, king, protector, saboteur, etc, everybody will understand the characteristics we are describing. This is the archetype – an original or prototype. Let us compare the archetypes of a warrior queen, Joan of Arc or Boadicea for instance. A warrior queen out there on the battlefield with a bloodied sword in her hand is powerful, but she is not very pretty. She commands downwards. The knights rally around her, they are inspired by her to fight and they may die for the common cause. The warrior queen is someone to be respected, but not really someone to adore. The goddess on the other hand is also a powerful and wise woman, but she does not fight. She is feminine, she does not command, but the men willingly adore her and lay the flowers at her feet. She is someone they want to live for. Cinderella is neither admired nor adored. She was not even noticed, until she got all dollied up. A woman who yells like a banshee, who attacks and violently destroys property, who threatens to hurt herself, who battles and moans, sulks and nags, is not very adorable. Neither is one who slumps around in her track suit pants and Crocs all day, or one who allows herself to be a doormat. I ask again, how can a woman expect a man to adore her if she is not being adorable?

The same applies to men. How can she admire him for being the hero if he does not man-up to it? Beer-guzzling, couch-potatoes dressed in faded gym shorts and dirty vests, who never fulfil their promises, are not very heroic either. Neither are grumpy jerks.

Just a hint to the girls. Most men tell me they adore women in dresses. Soft floral print dresses. The actor said he loves it when a dress flounces. And they love sandals with heels. Not necessarily stilettos. Many men are a bit self-conscious when they have to accompany a woman who does a tricky balancing act on extra high heels. She is so focused on not falling flat on her face, she forgets to focus on him and just having a good time. Men like women who look good in their clothes, as long as they are comfortable in those clothes. And they don’t like women to wear underwear or pyjamas with cutesy teddy bears or little hearts printed on them. They are men, not paedophiles. Corporate suits are fine for the office and ultra-low cleavages at the office are inappropriate – it distracts them from their work, and the work is the quest, remember. Corporate suits can be worn with soft blouses and perfume. Stockings are fine for work, but fishnet stockings should only be worn to a fancy dress party or in the bedroom, not to work unless you mean “business” with the boss. Bush wear is preferred to dresses when out hiking or camping, and again perfume is always intoxicating, as long as she does not drown in it. Capri pants halving your calves, are out!

It’s very easy to spot couples on their first Internet dates – the women are all over-dressed!

Sensual is more sexy

A man’s sexual sense is sight. What they see usually arouses them. That is why pornography mainly caters for men. A woman’s sexual sense is touch. I often advise men, please do not touch what you are looking at (ie the cleavage or butt!) Stroke her neck, hold her hand, give her a hug, play with her hair and if you really want to spoil her, give her a massage.

Women will seduce men more easily if they focus on a man’s senses, rather than talking too much. What he sees, smells, tastes and if she touches him, is much much more intoxicating, than the words she speaks. Men’s senses are very deprived in their stuffy air conditioned offices. Women know the secrets of a massage, hot bubble bath, candle light, velvet chocolate, silk on the skin, back scratch…

I often advise men to take note of the brand of a woman’s perfume. Women do not only buy perfume because they like the scent. They also identify with the image of the girl or woman advertising it and the phrases describing it. This should give him an indication of the secret archetype he is dealing with. There is a great difference between women who think of themselves as mysterious and spicy and those who think of themselves as floral and fresh. If men can read the ad of her perfume and use those words in his compliments, she will be amazed at his insight.